OMG claire213

Oh! Second point. Nix the rhyme. It really hinders word usage and also can be extremely irritating if not used very well. Just tips. Try starting writing in free-form and ...

it's not meant as an actual [i]story[/] where there's a coherent plot. it was an assignment on the house on mango street. kind of like a child's book, and do ...

to hana there are a lot of similies in the poem. they're just not in the traditional form of "this is as that" or w/e. as well as personification, etc. ...

Rewritten.

Mk, fully edited with ur nitpicks in mind XD hate to ask it of you, but would u mind readin over it to see if i missd anything?

Thoroughly edited!!!!

hehe, the about was a typo!!! thanks for pointing that out. yes, sadly my sentances need some maintenance >_< llol. I'm working on slowly developing more to the characters. I'm ...

Thanks. I will definately add that and replace brazen :] --C

also, the title does relate to the poem. i really dislike using a line from the poem as the title, it's too repetitive. but wine in the beginning is used, ...

thanks, lol but perfidious does work. lol, i hate having to explain my poetry and the meaning, because generally it's much better when the reader takes their own meaning from ...

care for the revise?

thanks guys-- i prefer to use no capitilization in my poetry, it tends to just look sloppy, or there's the tradional Blah Blah Blah u know? the capitilization of the ...

Updated ladies and gentleman. Hope somebody will finally READ it :] --am working on chapter four now.

Updated!

That better Becks??